tumblr giveaway of thirty iphones my mom bought me. i just have so many iphones i’m giving them away. also a gold watch. i also have four brand new macbook pros lying in my house i’m giving those away too. also one of my kidneys. and $312.56 in cash. must be following me and fourteen of my closest internet friends. i’ll check. u have until four months in the future so u forget that i started this giveaway and don’t get suspicious when u don’t hear of anyone winning.
how do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber
ask them to pronounce “unionized”
Holy fuck thats clever
It took me 5 minutes to get this
Oh fuck you.
Smart people jokes be like
Yes, you should eat. You should always eat. No more of this sitting around for an hour with your cup of coffee trying to decide. You should always eat. There is never a time when skipping a meal is the right answer. Go eat, because you need to. Go eat, because you have a life to live.Note to self (via 50shadesofrecovery)