dampsandwich:

Well “officer” if thats even your real name,

(via laughbitches)

pepsimaxing:

this bra makes it hard to breathe but it makes my boobs look banging - a story by me

(via laughbitches)

farrahtales:

If you don’t strategically eat your food so that the last bites to go in your mouth are the tastiest look at your choices

(via thatcurlyhairedfangirl)

meladoodle:

forgive me father for i have sin-ed.. and cos-ed.. and tan-ed.. hahaha also i killed my trigonometry teacher

(via thetowndrugdealer)

  • voldemort: let me be your ruler
  • death eaters: (ruler)
  • Doctor: do you drink or smoke?
  • Me: no
  • Doctor: (under his breath) what a loser

flansjohnburgh:

theantigovernor:

flansjohnburgh:

what does html stand for?

hypertext markup language

no i mean like, what does it believe in?

(via jeremysstripedboxers)

sodamnrelatable:

but it was NOT YOUR FAULT BUT MINE

and it was YOUR HEART ON THE LINE

i really FUCKED IT UP THIS TIME

didn’t I MY DEAR

didn’t I my -

image

(via jeremysstripedboxers)


it’s so hard hiding the truth from your friends…

it’s so hard hiding the truth from your friends…

(via jeremysstripedboxers)

Losing friends to people you helped them meet

image

(via jeremysstripedboxers)

pyrochasms:


Worked for me

pyrochasms:

Worked for me

(via laughbitches)

lustt-and-luxury:

coderedillniggaalert:

scifuck:

ohboiii:

This is so me bruh

he takes his hat off to pray thanks

salute a real nigga when you see one

lol , he da man

lustt-and-luxury:

coderedillniggaalert:

scifuck:

ohboiii:

This is so me bruh

he takes his hat off to pray thanks

salute a real nigga when you see one

lol , he da man

(via laughbitches)

sherrocked:

My little sister is a really pretty girl and she gets dick pics all the time from annoying boys, so being the girl she is, she started using them as blackmail.
She now has about 30 boys doing her bidding because one stepped out of line and she got someone to print out 500 copies of the photo and mailed it to his family.

My sister is 16 and she’s running a black mail Mafia.
She’s going places.

(via liamdryden)

supermarioboe:

madwereitnotformusic:

Flight of the Bumblebee on Bass Trombone.

oh my god i was expecting some supernatural trombone playing here