allmonds:

ONE TIME ON MY SNAPCHAT STORY I POSTED SOMETHING ABOUT ANAL AND THEN MY DAD GOT  A SNAPCHAT AND ADDED ME AND HE WAS LIKE ALICE????

(via laughbitches)

lzayoi:

lzayoi:

Wtf im going to feed my dog a chicken nugget

image

(via laughbitches)

impossiblycastiel:

Steal Her Look: Dancing Emoji
Marchesa silk gazar gown ($6,950)
Casadei pumps ($1,300)

impossiblycastiel:

Steal Her Look: Dancing Emoji


Marchesa silk gazar gown ($6,950)

Casadei pumps ($1,300)

(via jeremysstripedboxers)

urbancatfitters:

tumblr giveaway of thirty iphones my mom bought me. i just have so many iphones i’m giving them away. also a gold watch. i also have four brand new macbook pros lying in my house i’m giving those away too. also one of my kidneys. and $312.56 in cash. must be following me and fourteen of my closest internet friends. i’ll check. u have until four months in the future so u forget that i started this giveaway and don’t get suspicious when u don’t hear of anyone winning.

(via jeremysstripedboxers)

complajn:

this is what changed their mind

complajn:

this is what changed their mind

(via jeremysstripedboxers)

bombing:

attention passengers this is your pilot speaking, we’re going to be experiencing some heavy turbulence shortly so please strap in. this loser just bet that i couldn’t do a 360 barrel roll in this thing and let’s just say i’m about to be $20 richer real soon

(via heliolisk)

quixon:

thebigblackwolfe:

frantzfandom:

girilla-warfare:

the-average-gatsby:

the-average-gatsby:

how do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber

ask them to pronounce “unionized”

Holy fuck thats clever

It took me 5 minutes to get this

FUCK

Oh fuck you.

Smart people jokes be like

(via ameliacakee)

Yes, you should eat. You should always eat. No more of this sitting around for an hour with your cup of coffee trying to decide. You should always eat. There is never a time when skipping a meal is the right answer. Go eat, because you need to. Go eat, because you have a life to live.
Note to self (via 50shadesofrecovery)

(via ameliacakee)

cravings:

me whenever i drink something from a wine glass

image

(via taggedbooty)

someactorkid:

ellendegeneres:

In 10 or 11 years when she gets the joke, she’s gonna love this photo.

How long do you think it takes a child to learn how to read

someactorkid:

ellendegeneres:

In 10 or 11 years when she gets the joke, she’s gonna love this photo.

How long do you think it takes a child to learn how to read

(via croutoncat)